Monday, July 18, 2011

After being sick for a week or two , I feel like life is  absolutely grand now that I am out and about again.!  I realize that being physically down can make you feel spiritually low, emotionally drained and negative about doing anything that takes energy. I basically got SICK of being sick! I don't know if it is because I am feeling so good or if I have just had several eventful days but I have several things I want to share with you...

REUNION...can I say 35th? This last Saturday evening my "class of 76" celebrated our 35th reunion. As I sat there enjoying the Hawaiian decor I was so amazed and
saddened. You see, I had a pretty unnoticed high school life. I was basically your wall flower. Yes, I had my group of close friends and stayed really busy with church life. The truth is...I felt so insecure, so unable...so inadequate that I realize I came across snobby and probably judgemental. I wanted to try new things, be involved and act crazy with everyone but I just felt so awkward. I knew the Lord but I didn't realize my worth was found in HIm.
I hate to say this but 5 years ago at our 30th class reunion those feeling just resurfaced as soon as I arrived. I had a miserable time. Somehow, someway these last five years I have realized that there was no telling what or who I had missed knowing. I went Sst. night with a desire to have funlf listen to people and really speak to as many as I could. Our committee for the reunion did a fabulous job and so many people were there that I hadn't seen in well....35 years...! I looked around the room and realized that everyone had changed. We all had grown up(and many of us had grown out):) I loved seeing and hearing about what everyone is doing now .

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

moving on...

My goodness alot can happen in a short while. I realize I haven't blogged in months but trust me it is not because I haven't had anything to say. Words just haven't made it to my fingers so I have just stored up things I want to share.
To catch you up alittle on our lives, I would like to say that for the time being my previous blog post has been postponed until further notice. My precious daughter in law has handled this rough season of life with so much faith and has been so encouraging that once again, I am so proud God chose her to be my sons' wife. Ed and I love her dearly and while our heart has ached for both of them, we also see Gods' hand in their iives and know that He is in control.

On a happier note, our oldest son, Chase has become engaged to a great girl name Lizzie. We already feel like she is part of our family. We feel blessed beyond belief at how good God is yet again, to provide for one of our own. We are anxiously looking forward to an Oct. 15th wedding.

Now to get to the heart of this blog. I have been down and sick for the last three days. Just a really bad sore throat but it has really made me sick. This was not the time I would of picked to get sick but then I guess there never really is a good time. The first day I was just too sick and feverish to care. Yesterday I was tired, still not feeling good and really getting stressed at all that needed to be done. Today this old Three day on Prednisone Mother woke up bouncing off the walls. THIS WAS THE DAY!

Let me explain...
My daughter, Carrie, graduated from high school in 2005. Now follow me here. Since the day she left for college her room has not been touched. I mean through all of her moves, travels, graduating from college, and even marriage her room has stayed the same. Yes, her sweet husband, Nathan, has spent many a night in there since they married, sleeping among all of her precious moment dolls and cheerleading memories. I thought forever that I needed her to help me go through it. You know, kind of like laughing together about silly stuff, arguing about what to get rid of, even shedding a tear over some sweet picture we just couldn't part with. As time as moved on though, I began to realize that just wasn't reality. I can tell you what reality is though. It was out of town company a few weeks ago staying in her room and me trying to come up with excuses that didn't sound insane. I vowed to myself that I would get that room cleaned out and cleaned up before July ended. So today I took my hoarse, Prednisone driven self and started at it.
I have to admit I did send a few pics to Carrie just to make it seem lighter and even made some clever jokes about different things I was throwing away. Truth is I really just tried to not be so obvious that I was reading, pondering, and reliving every little ballet slipper and cheerleading picture I came across. With smiles and yes, even some tears, I had to stop and thank God for Carrie and the easy road she took us down, the exhausting nights of friends and long away games, the things she taught me about loving others and how she learned and sought after God at an early age. Yes, it was good but it was then. Today I packed away, threw away, and even prepared to give away all of her past things but it was good!

As I ended my wonderful cleanout freenzy, I found three little birthday dolls that Carries Granny had collected from her birth. I had noticed they were not with the other 13 on the piano but thought maybe Granny got to old to keep it up. I remembered these had been found in some of Grannys things when she died and she had just forgotten she had them. As I went down the stairs to place them with the others, I paused at my daughters bridal portrait. There she was, in all of her beauty, looking so mature and happy. Once again, I have to smile because yes, she has moved on and now IT IS TIME I MOVE ON TOO!
Tomorrow...wallpaper off...new paint and then I will be ready for more out of town company without excuse!

Friday, April 15, 2011

Legacy of a grandmother

WOW! I know it has been a while since I posted but so much has happened. I know what I really want to share but am frustrated in how to get it all out...here goes my attempt.
   If you know me even just a teeny bit, then you know I AM GOING TO BE A GRANDMOTHER. My son Clay and his wife , Amy, are due to have their first baby around the beggining of Dec. It is no secret that I have dreamed, prayed for and thought about that day for years. I simply feel like that will be the icing on the cake of a wonderful, blessed life. My hubby, Ed, and I hope we see lots of grandchildren in our future.  But , I have to admit...it has not hit me yet. Yes, I have already bought a "few" little things  and our children have discussed in detail my grandmother name...but ....the reality of it all has not arrived. I am glad we have quite a bit of time to get used to the idea. I have had so many thoughts spinning around and have been so puzzled about how to do this grandmother thing....I want to do it right and be the best of course but have no idea where to start.
  I had the opportunity to attend two funerals. Each of those were the mother and grandmother of friends of ours. I unexpectantly found myself wrapped up in the testimonies of the grandchildren. I have pondered all that they said and I think I started getting a picture of  the kind of  grandmother I would love to be.
For one thing..oh to think that I might have a ilfe that would include so many wonderful memories for my grandchidren. Both of these ladies were intentional about the time they spent with their grandchildren. They went out of their way to make each one feel special and provde opportunities to be with them.
I heard stories of fun times that brought alot of laughter and of serious talks and moments that the grandchildren could remember every detail of . I listened as they shared how their grandmothers had used their own interests to share life with them and how they enjoyed spending time together.
I was also encouraged that their grandmothers, while wonderful, were not portrayed to be perfect. Their flaws were part of their personality and were part of the great memories that were shared.
If appropriate I would of loved to of taken notes. I sat amazed , in tears and in wonder of these great ladies that I didn't even really know. They truly made an impact in their grandmother stage of life and were loved  by so many. Even more importantly, they loved so many. Their hearts had extended to embrace each of the ones God had brought into their lives.
 How this "grandmother love" feels , I haven't a clue. I feel confident  though, that  God will give me all I need for this season of life. I pray that I too can live to leave a legacy for those we have even yet to meet.
OH MY! Could that be a little grandmother in me speaking? :)

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Remembering why I love girl ministry....

This weekend I had the exciting opportunity of going to the lifeway Girls MInistry conference with 9 of our Delight Leadership team. It was a great conference where we learned a lot but honestly our initial motives were not completely pure. We seem to be busy "doing" ministry lately and have not had much opportunity to just encourage and learn from each other. Several of our leaders are mommies with small children so their days are full of tending to the home front. Others are college students that we haven't really been able get to know well or even find out what they feel they need to make their ministry better. So..for the most part we enjoy just the opportunity to get away and have girl time together. But, just like last year, we learned and experienced so much in such a small amount of time.

Let me give you a sample of what we came away with.
If you work with teens at all then you are aware of how so many of our girls are in crisis situations. Today we are dealing with circumstances that even 5 years ago would of almost been unheard of.
One of my favorite parts of the forum is being able to choose breakout sessions that pertain to what I feel I need to know to make me a better leader to our girls. This years choices were great and so relevant to some of the very things we have dealt with lately.

The first breakout I chose was PORNOGRAPHY IN GIRLS with Becca Daniel and Lauren Farmer. I guess I wasn't real sure what would be covered in this but I was completely blown away to realize that it was nothing like guys and their problems with porn. Girls can be much more  suttle but yet dangerous in their choices concerning sexual exposure. Just a couple of the shocking statistics for you to dwell on...66% of teen girls have sent suggestive messages to others(sex ting) ..everything from nude pics of body parts to words that put guys minds exactly where they want them to go... 80% of 15-17 year old girls have experienced multiple hard core exposure to porn that leaves them desiring to experiment and willing to let their guard down. BTW most of this exposure takes place in their own homes! The average age of a girls first Internet exposure is 11. All of this compiled with the neediness of girls and their desire for any guys attention can spell disaster or produce a stronghold that has a lifetime of consequences.

CRISIS ISSUES IN GIRLS MINISTRY with Nancy Hamilton was yet another breakout that handled straight talk about hard issues our girls are facing. Cutting, eating disorders, porn, abortion, same sex attractions were just some of the issues that seem unfamiliar with many adults working in ministry to girls. Tough issues with hard lessons and long commitments can make our "walking through life " with teen girls so complicated. so draining...I almost felt exasperated as I left some of these sessions .If it wasn't for the fact that we have the hope..THE ONLY HOPE... they need. But we can't give it to them.We have to love them unconditionally, take time for them, listen, offer that Hope and pray that in the days ahead they will take it and let God heal and move them on to freedom in Christ.

We had many other breakout sessions to choose from. Just about any thing you were dealing with as a leader to girls was covered in our sessions. There were opportunities for new as well as old leaders to learn and be encouraged.

Our worship and keynote speakers led us and inspired us to think about and focus on our own spiritual lives. It was so amazing to praise the Lord with over 300 women that share your passion and calling.

I guess if I had to put into words what I took away from this conference it would really be much more than statistics and facts.

For years I have had a rather tearing feeling that I was winding down in girl(youth) ministry. I mean I am not the sharp, witty, 20 something that is relevant in every possible way to every young girl we minister to. Some of the events I am just plain tired of and I don't know if I can even stay awake long enough for one more Delight all night! But then I sit among our leadership team-doing what we really came here for- and listen to them pour out their hearts..listen to their passion to make a difference..to their struggles in their personal lives..and think back to when I was there. I really wish I had done alot of things differently. I wish I had pursued seminary or furthered my degree so I could better equip girls to handle these hard times. I am almost jealous at times of some of our team that probably have many years left to serve. But the beautiful thing is I am affirmed in my call. I don't feel God has released me to wander aimlessly through the church, searching for yet another potluck to attend. I may be patting and encouraging other leaders or I may be listening in my rocking chair but one thing is for sure. Times like this weekend make me remember
why I love girl ministry. I have the hope they need and God gives me daily the strength i need to give it out.
Tomorrow will be a beautiful day in ministry. We get to attend one of our precious new sisters in Christ baptism. Then we get to walk along side of her and many others just doing what I love to do most! LIVING LIFE TOGETHER!

Sunday, February 13, 2011

the old...the now...the new!

This has truly been a busy weekend. It has been wonderful though and I am ending it feeling so blessed.
I get amazed at how God makes my life so full. Sure, I like to be busy. I have enjoyed the quiteness of the snow covered days but I feel like it is time to get this season on with it.

I have realized over the years that I am a people person. I love all kinds of people and I know that God puts people in our lives for different seasons and situations. This weekend has been full of people. People I have experienced life with in my past , people that fill my life now and even some new acquaintances that I pray are part of my future..both personal and ministry!

This weekend I had the opportunity to attend an event where several of my dear friends from my past were in attendance. "From my past" is certainly not to imply that they aren't friends now, but that I just don't have a daily relationship with them at this time. We laughed, hit a memory or two, and shared briefly what God is doing in our lives . It was sweet and affirming in many different directions for me.

This weekend was also full of family. There is something different about having grown-up children. Somewhere among the graduatons, jobs, multiple moves, and tears you look and your kids take on a different place in your life. Oh sure they will always be my chldren,but now I feel it is safe to say our relationship is changing. Dressing up and going out, playing speed scrabble way past midnight, worshiping together and celebrating my sweet daughter-in - la ws birthday..all in a weekends time. I love it- part of the best of this season!

This weekend has brought alot of "new" also. New people to possibly serve in ministry with,new people to possibly minister to, and new opportunites to possibly get involed in. Yes, I am comfortable with the now and I appreciate the past. But, I dream about the future and what God has in store for me . I wonder what the "new" will look like when it becomes the now and how will it of affected me when it becomes my past?
For now, I am laying this content body and spirit down. I could get anxious thinking about all
the future holds but I know that God holds the unknowns in His hands and HE IS GOOD!

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Share this Season

If you know me well, you know that I love the month of January. I know, I know, it is not every ones favorite. But I love the feeling of accomplishment that comes from making it through yet another month of holiday festivities. The laziness I feel is some what rationalized and I love the time to reflect and regroup.
One of the things I have grown to love and look forward to the most is the restart of my ladies bible study on Tuesdays. It is so good to be together after taking a month off . We look forward to digging in the word again..well, actually that is not all..we love sharing our lives together. On any given bible study morning we can be caught laughing, crying, discussing, praying, telling stories  and sharing about those things that are such a part of our lives. 
We've studied a lot of different materials. Everything from Beth Moore to books of the bible have graced our time together. We have learned that whatever we study, God brings to light something new or something that is exactly what we need for the moment. IT is such a God thing. Who knew that the study of Jonah would shake up and interrupt the lives of these wives and mothers? God did that is who! God knew what we needed...each in our own way regardless of where we are in our personal walk with him. Each with struggles often too personal to share but sharing a desire to bring glory to God as we go through them. God speaks and His word challenges us to tears at times.
Oh I do love this season. Not just the blustery month of winter season...but the season of life God has me in right now. I love having women to go through this season with. No, we are not all best friends...we aren't all the same age..we don't have husbands that all act alike or work the same vocation. Our children are all ages and in many different seasons themselves. We all have different gifts and different hobbies...but one thing unites us all. We desire to learn how to live to bring joy to God's heart  and to have our lives reflect His love to those He has put in our lives. 
God is so good. His blessing are abundantly more than I deserve. Life is great but it can be hard. Do you have someone to go through this season with? 

Saturday, January 29, 2011

I think I will give it a try!

This whole blogging thing has intrigued me for quite some time. I follow a few blogs, but besides that I really am not sure how it all works.
 I admit that I have always been compelled to write..I keep journals, write in notebooks and  even have gone through a brief time where I would journal my thoughts on the computer so I could read them or share them if I wanted to. I realize this is different though. This is putting my thoughts out there. Out there for all to see.
 It's not that I am such an interesting person or even a person that has much wisdom to share. Its just that there are those times when I want to share..share about God's goodness, my family, or what God is teaching me in this season of life.
So please hang with me as I give this a try. Don't look for grammatically correct sentences, elaborate words  or deep theology. Just sit back , have a few laughs and praise the Lord that His mercies are new every morning for this crazy woman!